Originally published in the Houston Chronicle, October 23, 2020.
I’m happily married but I’m good at matchmaking, mostly because I’ve learned to ask the right questions. These days one question tops the list: Who are you supporting for president?
I’ve been asking this question a lot lately, both as a campaigner and as a matchmaker, and the answers I’m getting have everything to do with the gender gap in this election. It’s never been wider, with women favoring Joe Biden in record numbers across the nation. That’s great news for Democrats, but bad news for straight men supporting President Donald Trump and wanting to improve their odds with women. Simply put, guys, lots of women will refuse to date you.
Katelyn Young, 23, from Austin, is but one example. I met her at the restaurant where she works, and she answered my dating questions without a moment’s hesitation.
“I was willing to date a Republican in the past, but I can’t imagine going out with any guy who supports this president,” she said.
“Trump has done so many things that have turned me off — his sexism, his racism, the way he mocks others who have lost loved ones to the pandemic. The list is so long.”
I couldn’t agree more. If a man admires this president (and the vice president for that matter), he might also think it’s perfectly fine to spend the evening interrupting a woman and talking over her. In other words, he could be a disastrous first date. Watching the debates was bad enough for women, why would any of us want an encore performance?
Men who identify with Trump seem to think it’s great that he speaks his mind, often with little regard for the truth. They like that he doesn’t seem to care too much about others. Admittedly, being extremely self-centered could be kind of fun, but trust me, women who are interested in men want more from a male partner. They want a man who is capable of caring about them and the others around them. It’s one of the reasons so many women are supporting Biden instead of Trump.
Because women are the ones primarily in charge of caring for children, loved ones and the vulnerable, they tend to care more about their health and health care than men do. It’s why so many of us want to protect the Affordable Care Act, something Trump has no interest in doing, nor do the men who support him.
Women also tend to care more about the environment, which is why so many of us prefer Biden’s plan to strengthen the economy while simultaneously combating climate change. Because women still make less money than men, they want a president who doesn’t just reward the wealthiest. In addition, women who support Biden know that the decisions of the Supreme Court could affect them for decades.
Sadly, when a guy tells a Biden-supporting woman that he’s voting for Trump, it’s as if he’s telling her that women don’t matter. We do, all of us, and that’s what I want to say to men who support this president. The way you vote now matters more than you can imagine. The women in your life will ask you how you voted, and they’ll ask you again and again, for years to come. They won’t be fooled.
The polls have it right. If you’re a man voting for Trump and you want to date women, the odds are not in your favor. You could end up sleeping alone. For a long time. Alone. Next to your MAGA hat.
As one woman I met put it, even if she just wanted to hook up with a guy for the night, she couldn’t do it if he voted for Trump. Even if he were super-hot, she said she just couldn’t do it.
Hear that, guys? If you haven’t voted yet, the clock is ticking, and your future dating life is on the line. Better show you care before it’s too late. Better vote for Biden.
Currey-Wilson is a writer and author from Dallas.