Originally published in Newsweek, November 1, 2024.
Four years ago I warned young straight men that a vote for former President Donald Trump might hurt their chances with women in the dating market. As a wife and mother with a positive view of marriage and family life, I worried that Trump-supporting men would ruin their chance for love and romance in the years to come. Sadly, four years later, the gender gap has widened and women’s reluctance to be with men who want to vote for Trump has increased, particularly when it comes to Gen Z.
This may be hard for Gen Z men to understand. That’s because, to their credit, when it comes to dating, they’re more willing to overlook political differences than women are. While divergent points of view can make a relationship more interesting, Gen Z women apparently don’t agree when it comes to Trump. Most college-educated Gen Z women not only don’t want to date men who support him—many don’t want to be friends with them either.
When it comes to dating, it’s not an even playing field. While both Gen Z men and women have had a harder time with dating compared with previous generations, Gen Z men have fared worse. They’re not as educated as their female peers, they’re struggling more in the job market, and they’re less likely to be living away from home. Their relationships are often virtual, and without actual romantic relationship experience, they are often ill-equipped for the dating market.
To make matters worse, Gen Z women are rejecting straight Gen Z men for a host of other reasons as well. They’re more likely than men to identify as LGBTQ+, with more Gen Z women than men identifying as asexual and/or aromantic. Others are focused on self-care and their friends rather than dating, or they’re choosing to date millennial men.
It’s not surprising that so many Gen Z men are lonely and upset, nor is it surprising that in Trump they’re finding a voice for their grievances. With his new buddy Elon Musk, Trump is promising to solve all their problems. Moreover, in the enticing MAGA world, guys can rant for hours on end unfiltered with their fellow bros, name-calling those who offend them and blaming others if they lose. Even better, they get to idolize a man who feels entitled to all the sex he wants without worrying about all that #MeToo stuff and the constant need to apologize.
It does have a certain appeal. After all, being a grown up is hard work. Sadly though, imitating the irresponsible behavior of the Trumps and Musks of the world won’t pay off for the average Gen Z guy who isn’t ultra wealthy, and it certainly won’t earn him respect from the average Gen Z female he desires.
That’s why when a woman discovers that a man supports Trump, she’s right to worry. If a guy, however nice, chooses to vote for a man who belittles others, objectifies women, and has little regard for the issues she cares about, such as reproductive health care and the environment, she wonders if he will have what it takes to be the partner she desires, whether temporary or permanent.
Women want to be with men who respect them. They value men who think of the well-being of others, not just themselves. They want men who are mature enough to stay the course and not offer false promises.
We want these same qualities in a leader. Fortunately, we’ve had leaders in the past who’ve set a good example in that regard, showing us the positive aspects of masculinity, and they’ve come from both parties. Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama differed in their policy positions and in the direction they took our country, for better or worse, but they provided solid examples as good fathers and loyal husbands who respect the women in their lives.
Trump has set a terrible example for young men, and for Republicans in general. Gen Z men deserve better, and so do women everywhere.
Rest assured, Vice President Kamala Harris is listening. She’s fighting to make more jobs available for those without college degrees. She supports a bi-partisan immigration bill. She’s committed to making housing more affordable. These are issues that Trump-supporting Gen Z men say they care about the most.
This election matters, and for Gen Z men, it matters on multiple levels and in the most personal way possible. Finding love and partnership is well worth the effort, even more so for men. That’s because married men are far more likely to be happier, healthier, and wealthier than their single counterparts. It’s one of the reasons my husband and I were thrilled to see our son get married last month.
Gen Z men need to thrive. Know that I have your best interest at heart. This is your chance to make a decision you can feel good about for years to come. You are needed now more than ever, and for those of you wanting to improve your odds in love, this is your golden opportunity. Make the most of it and vote for Harris.
Ellen Currey-Wilson is an author, writer and educator. She lives in Portland, Oregon.